Family roles in addiction can play a key part in helping those suffering from addictions in overcoming their struggles and finding their way on the road to recovery. It describes an intricate interplay of family dynamics that unfolds to reveal how the roles we play in our families contribute to either maintaining or breaking addiction in our loved ones.
As researchers explored this topic more, they identified six specific roles that family members often assume to cope with the consequences of addiction, creating an environment that may make things worse, and is difficult to change. If you have ever questioned how you or your family can start to heal and grow from the ravages of addiction, then this concept will hold answers for you.
Family Roles in Addiction is a concept that has been explored and developed over time by many different researchers and clinicians in the fields of family psychology and addiction studies. However one key figure in the development of family systems theory was Dr Murray Bowen. Bowen first proposed the concept of family systems theory in the 1950s and ‘60s, proposing that the interconnection and interdependence of family members reinforces individual behaviours that affect the family system as a whole.
As this theory was applied to cases of addiction, an understanding became clear that family dynamics can play a significant role in both the development and maintenance of addictions in individuals. The impact of addiction on families is massive, and with time researchers began to identify specific roles that family members may adopt as a way of coping with the challenges of living with addiction.
It often happens that the interplay of dynamics between family members reinforces the roles themselves, and creates an environment that traps both addicts and their families into feeling that change is impossible.
This role is occupied by the family member who is experiencing the addiction. Their substance use, or addictive behaviours, become the central focus of the family.
This family member often tries to minimise the consequences of the addict’s behaviour on both the addict and the family. They may try to protect the addict from facing the full extent of their actions or provide emotional and financial support that allows the addiction to thrive.
The hero, or perfectionist, tries to maintain a sense of stability and ‘normal’ in the family system. They may excel in other domains, such as academically or professionally, in order to compensate for the destruction and chaos created by the presence of addiction.
This role is occupied by the family member who acts out in response to the family’s dysfunction. They may engage in rebellious or disruptive behaviour themselves.
Family members occupying this role will use humour as a coping mechanism and attempt to distract themselves and others from stress and tension in the family. They may use jokes or physical comedy to detract from the seriousness of addiction.
The lost child, or isolator, will often withdraw themselves from the family unit, becoming emotionally distant. They typically will avoid conflict and seek solitude to escape the chaos and pains that addiction causes.
Yes, with the right professional intervention and support any family can recover from addiction, and escape these family roles. Family roles in addiction can become engrained over time, and their use as a coping mechanism can be difficult to let go of.
However, through counselling, family members can gain insight into their roles, address dysfunctional patterns, and develop healthier coping strategies to support the addict’s recovery and the overall wellbeing of the family.
In families seeking addiction counselling, each role may present unique challenges, resistances and vulnerabilities. The process of change may involve setting new boundaries, learning new communication techniques, and developing healthy coping strategies.
Each member’s participation is vital to the final outcome, and it is the role of the family therapist to help guide the process in evolving and developing the family unit together so all may grow into a new healed space.
If you’ve identified with any of the above roles, or have recognised some of your family members, then you may be asking yourself what you can possibly do to start challenging these roles and growing into a healthier space. Luckily, recognising and acknowledging the role you play is an important step in moving towards a solution.
Taking the next steps can be challenging and may put you in a new, difficult, role if it is done without the right support and guidance from a trained professional. This can include ensuring that the person within the ‘addict’ role seeks formal treatment for their addiction.
The best advice is to seek a family systems counsellor, therapist, or psychologist who can support your family and complete true psychological intervention and treatment. Clinic Les Alpes is one such institution who can support your family with this process. For more information, please feel free to contact us.
Supporting a friend, family member, or partner through addiction treatment is a challenging process, and requires empathy and understanding. There are two aspects to supporting treatment that are crucial, particularly if this is someone’s first attempt at recovery or if they are experiencing a relapse.
Firstly, it is important that the family and that treatment provider are on the same team. Many who are undergoing addiction treatment will attempt to ‘split’ different people, either making up falsehoods, telling slightly different versions of events, or hiding information from some but not from others.
Collaboration and open communication between the two ‘units’ will ensure that the ‘addict’ is receiving a consistent message, boundaries and care. The second, and perhaps most important aspect, is that one cannot change if they find themselves in an environment that is unchanged.
This is often why if we start a diet we might empty our cupboards of ‘junk food’ or why we find it so hard to feel happy and motivated if our houses are messy or dirty. In this same way, an ‘addict’ may enter treatment and change, but if they return to a home or family unit that is identical to the one they left, they will struggle to maintain long-term change.
We have seen throughout this article that addiction affects the whole family, and while your loved one is putting in work to grow themselves, so must the rest of the family. Seek professional support for yourself and your family, and make an effort to start your own journey of healing and holistic recovery. Clinic Les Alpes is one such clinic that offers that kind of support to family members of our patients. For more information, please feel free to contact us.
